Colours

You were red, and you liked me because I was blue. I gave you all the opportunities in the world to choose me, I gave myself to you in a way I never had before. I got so lost in the darkness of your eyes and the melody of your voice; the kindness of your heart and the purity of you soul. Loving you was red and fiery. It was like feeling the wind as I fell through a free fall, like autumn colours before they lose their vibrance. You brought so much joy into my life, I wanted to bask in your light forever. So many of us fear tomorrow and regret yesterday, but when I was with you I never feared tomorrow; I was yours, and never regretted yesterday because one yesterday, we met. Being with you was like realising all I ever wanted was right there in front of me. You knew every part of me, and knowing you was as easy as knowing all the words to my favourite song.

But then I got lost. I didn’t know where you began and where I ended. I was so lost in you that I forgot about myself; I forgot to love myself the way I loved you. You became the best part of me, when I needed to be. I put everything into loving you at a time when I needed to love myself. When you left, I was lost. Losing you was blue, the kind of sky blue that appears just before a storm.

Lost in the fact that your lips could utter the words ‘goodbye’. The same lips that told me they loved and needed me. The same lips that broke down my walls and shattered my cold heart to let me love again after I had decided that falling in love just wasnt worth it. The lips I kissed a thousand times over now seemed like strangers, and the words they said difficult to understand.

Missing you was dark grey, under a constant cloud of sadness. It was like trying to change the puzzle even though I already had all the answers. Trying to get you out of my mind never worked, as you always creeped back in just a little stronger each time. Forgetting you was like trying to know someone I’d never met, trying to forget all the promises and words of love we spoke. I was told to always trust the over-thinker that says they love you, because they have, most assuredly thought of all the reasons not to. For you, I guess I became a reason.

You were my red, and I was your blue. The way you looked at me and made me feel suddenly turned me into the beautiful lilac sky, then you just decided that purple wasn’t really for you.