James Fray once said that loss of control is always the source of fear, but it’s also however always the source of change. Change can be scary, the thought of something not being the same ever again? That’s enough to scare anyone. But losing control doesn’t have to be scary, it doesn’t have to be the thing you fear. It can be exciting and exhilarating. Control is what you make it, so don’t let it define you.
Its okay to lose yourself from time to time, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Those who love you are not fooled by the mistakes you’ve made, or by the blurry image you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you’re broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you feel lost and confused. Not everyone finds their purpose in life at the same time, some find it as a teenager whilst others don’t feel right until they’re well into adult life. Just because you haven’t found your purpose yet doesn’t mean you don’t have one. Be patient, it will come.
Smile every day. Even if it feels like your whole world is falling apart, smile. Do something that makes you smile, because you’ll easily forget how to. Run to the top of the mountain, bake to your heart’s content, do the stupid thing. Just make sure you smile.
Tell someone you love them. Allow yourself to fall in love. You might get your heart broken and it might be terrible, but maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll find your person and it will be incredible. You’ll look at them as if they are the sun, and you’ll want to be in their light for the rest of yours. The only way a heart can mend is by falling in love again, so don’t hold back, don’t protect yourself from heartache that might not even happen. Don’t rob yourself of happiness.
You can’t control life. It comes tumbling at you at 100mph and there’s nothing you can do to stop it, so try to enjoy the ride. Just because something didn’t go the way you wanted it to, doesn’t mean you failed. No one can take away from you the fact that you gave everything in that moment, it just wasn’t meant to be. Go back to the drawing board and try again. Take the fear of disappointment and let it ignite the fire deep inside you, be your own source of change.
Your heart will be broken. You will feel pain and grief and regret but there is nothing you can do about it. Know that you’re allowed to feel this way, embrace it and learn from it. The people you care most about in the world will be taken from you, and life will beat you to your knees if you let it. Have your moment, cry all the tears you need, scream and shout and be as angry as you possibly can at the world. But then get up. Always, always get up. Even if you feel like you cant face the world that day, always get up, dressed and go sit outside. Let your heart heal, don’t force it. Be patient.
I don’t think I’ve ever met a strong person with an easy past. Our experiences in life shape us to be our own person, and as much as you would like to, you cannot control that. Just make sure you keep a little fire burning. No matter how small or how hidden, keep it ignited. And remember, the most tragic backstories and broken hearts belong to superheroes.
Papersmiles 